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Advice That Shouldn’t Be Given To Those With Anxiety

Do These Tips Actually Help?





If you are new to my blog, Hi. If not, welcome back. If you have read my previous posts, you may know that I suffer with anxiety and have done for a frustrating amount of time. Unfortunately this puts a huge strain on my life, often leaving me to feel completely helpless. If you have anxiety yourself, I'm sure you can sympathise with the sleepless nights, heart palpitations and the unwillingness to leave the comfort of your home... Or maybe that's just me?
I feel that a lot of people visualise anxiety as just a minor stump in a person's life that can be overcome by just "getting over it" and to "stop thinking about it". However, unless you want to make that person feel like their problems are trivial and insignificant, these two statements should never be said; it only makes things worse. I am so fed up of these people being wronged by others who are giving lousy advice.

I went onto the NHS website and browsed through their tips on how to reduce and cope with anxiety and I thought it might be a good idea to review their advice and let you guys know whether or not these tips have helped me.

Be Active 

Being active and exercising is suppose to help improve your mental wellbeing. Personally, I cannot tell you whether or not it does actually work because I can never find the motivation long enough to exercise regularly. However, I can see how it may help. Exercising could bring you a greater sense of self-esteem which may then reduce your anxiety. Although, surely this would all depend on what is causing your anxiety in the first place. I agree that your anxiety may be lowered throughout the duration of your exercise because it is a good distraction. However, unless your anxiety is provoked by insecurities in the way you look, I don't believe that exercising is going to help alleviate any anxiety. 

Take Control



Having anxiety can sometimes make people feel as though they lose some sense of control. It can often feel like anxiety has completely taken over your mind and body, leaving you lost within yourself, without an escape route. In order to help yourself relieve some anxiety, you need to be able to your find your way out. I know it is extremely hard but you need to try and gain back some control and reject the temptation to sink further into it. 

Connect With People

Easier said than done. I find that socialising with people is one of the hardest things for me to do. I can be quite an awkward anti social person who shudders at the thought of meeting new people. I've always hated those people who makes everyone go around the room and introduce themselves to the rest of the group. Some people just don't understand the impact that has on anyone suffering from anxiety. Sometimes I do wish that I had more friends but actually I would rather have fewer friends that I can truly trust than be surrounded by people that don't always understand the impacts of anxiety and instead see it as a burden on their life.

Have Some 'Me Time'

This tip may work for others but it's not for everyone. For me, this wouldn't work because I hate the thought of being alone. I have mass separation anxiety from both my mum and my boyfriend so it is very difficult for me to be away from them for too long. Obviously this is not healthy and I am working on it but for me, being on my own would only make my anxiety a whole lot worse. 

Challenge Yourself

I really like this tip. In order to help relieve some anxiety you need to be able to challenge your thoughts and mind set. I try to do this as often as possible. It's not going to get rid of your anxiety completely but it may be able to slowly ease it down to a bearable amount. You don't have to set yourself ridiculous goals and challenges but little ones that can be done in your day to day life. For example, I sometimes find it very difficult to do my food shopping because I don't like feeling exposed to the world and feel that supermarkets are too busy, which makes me feel claustrophobic. I always battle in my head and try to avoid going but I set myself a challenge and force myself to do it. This doesn't help my anxiety at that moment but it does make me feel better about the fact that I can still be a 'normal' person and do normal day to day stuff. 

Avoid Unhealthy Habits 

Picking up unhealthy habits is really easy to do when you are feeling low. A lot of people become addicted to something, (whether that be drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, smoking etc) because at the time, it makes you feel as though your anxiety is more bearable. For me, I am a smoker and I know it's unhealthy but at this point in my life, I don't feel the need to quit. However, I don't smoke to relieve anxiety because I know it doesn't work. I know many people who have taken up drugs and alcohol to help them cope with their anxiety because at the time, it works. I am not going to tell anyone what they should and shouldn't be doing because I am not here to judge. If taking drugs helps your anxiety, who am I to tell you to stop? All I will say is that, unhealthy habits will not help in the long run unless you find the causes of your anxiety.

Help Other People

Helping other people can be a really good way to make yourself feel better. Being able to use your own experiences and knowledge and put it to good use can feel really rewarding. Personally I find it quite therapeutic. I enjoy writing blog posts about my life experience in hope that they can help people, because not only does it help me release some emotions, it allows people to relate to it. Although helping other people may help you put your anxiety to good use, you shouldn't overdo it and overwhelm yourself. Only take on what you can handle because otherwise you will become so deep into everyone elses problems that you won't be able to cope with your own which of course, will not help your anxiety. 

Work Smarter Not Harder

Prioritising your time can sometimes be really hard, especially when you have anxiety because even the smaller and insignificant tasks can become overwhelming. For example, the other day I wrote a do to list and on there was "Call the Doctors". Although this would appear the easiest and quickest task on my list, I found it really difficult and avoided it at all costs. I find that writing a do to list does help me priortise my time because I can see it visually written down rather than trying to decipher and remember everything in my head. 

Try To Be Positive 

This is probably the hardest thing for me to do because I am such a negative person when feeling anxious. When people try to cheer me up and they tell me to look at the positives, I find myself getting annoyed because at that specific time, I don't want to think positively. Although thinking positively can help make you feel better, I find that usually it makes me feel better to just be negative and have a rant, or cry and be totally dramatic because at least I am getting my emotions out rather than masking them by pretending that everything will be ok.  

Accept The Things You Can't Change 

In order to help yourself, you need to focus on the things that you can do to change the way you feel rather than dwelling on what you cannot control. This does not mean you shouldn't talk about these things and express you way that you feel, but pondering over something you can't change will only make you feel worse. A lot of my anxiety comes from my childhood and I accept that I cannot change what happened to me but what I can change how I lead my life as an adult.

My Advice 

After reading these tips, I realised that some of them may work. However, I don't believe that any of them will help unless you are aware of what causes your anxiety. In order to start soothing yourself into recovery, you need to recgonise your triggers and try to understand why they are there. Talking about your anxiety and how it impacts on your life is really helpful, rather than bottling it all up. I've done that way too many times and eventually it just becomes excruciating.  Personally, I truly believe that I will always have anxiety, however I know that if I start working through my deep rooted problems, I may be able to lessen it and learn how to cope with it. 

Thank you very much for taking your time to read this. Subscribe for more and don't forget to follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

MM

34 comments

  1. These are great tips but as you said, they can only work if you know the root cause of your anxiety. Great post Millie! xx

    Coco Bella Blog

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  2. Great advice!

    I get anxiety at times, but making the effort to be positive does help. I like how you suggest the balance between connecting with other people & making "me" time!! It's essential.

    http://kristaaoki.com

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    1. Yeah it really is!! You need to have the correct balance!

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  3. Just came to your blog after leaving a comment on mine, thank you for reading!
    I loved this post, i have a few close family and friends with pretty bad anxiety and from someone who tries to comfort them it can be extremely hard knowing what to say or what to do, this post has helped a lot! I absolutely hate socialising and will get out of it at all cost I get anxiety with it but I guess for me i'm maybe a bit more lucky because I know exactly what causes anxiety. For some of my friends and family they don't know what causes it at all as yet which is very upsetting and frustrating for them and for me I can sometimes get a bit frustrated too because I think 'you must know what's wrong' when really that isn't the case at all and I need to remind myself everyone is different with different symptoms and causes. I LOVE this post and will be saving it to read again in the future for some reminders :)

    www.GillMclaughlin.com

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    1. You're welcome:)
      I'm really glad you enjoyed this post. I completely understand what you mean about getting frustrated, but I also know that sometimes I can feel really anxious and have no idea why! I'm so happy that this has helped you!

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  4. I, too, suffer from anxiety so I understand where you're coming from. It is so difficult to deal with and people saying to "get over it" is extremely frustrating. Thanks for sharing this!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

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    1. I know! It really annoys me that people think we can just get over it!

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  5. these are all great ideas one of the best ways I have found to slow my anxiety is to get my mind off what is bothering me All of these ideas seem like they would be perfect

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    1. Yeah me too.. Distractions are always good!

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  6. Really good post, it's important to spread messages like this :)

    Caitlin, Beauty & Colour

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  7. Loved this post, and can definitely relate! While it's hard for people who haven't experienced anxiety to empathise, being told these things can be so frustrating!

    Gabija | everylittlethingblog.weebly.com

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    1. Thankyou! Yeah it can be really frustrating but I can imagine it must be difficult to understand it if you haven't gone through it yourself

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  8. Love the post! And the points you make are really important!!
    We should try to put ourselves on other's shoes. I suffer anxiety myself specially being underpressure and in difficult times and it is not easy to cope with it!! I'm going to share your post with some friends so they can read it and relate within it!

    Regards from Spain!!

    Two on the road

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    1. Thankyou! Im really happy that you enjoyed this post!! Wow thats awesome that you have shared it with your friends.. thanks:) I hope this helps them x

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  9. This is great! I don't think a lot of people who don't suffer from anxiety have the ability to really imagine what we go through. All of this advice is so much easier said than done! If I'm anxious and/or depressed, why in the hell would I want to go for a walk, let alone socialize?! Of course these things help, but when one is paralyzed mentally, it's tough to break away from nervous feelings and actually get going. I know that when I'm having an episode I tend to isolate myself from everyone near and dear to my heart. Thanks for posting this! :D

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    1. I completely agree! It annoys me that people think that anxiety can be a overcome quickly because if it were true I would have gotten rid of it years ago! In order to get better, you need to try understand yourself and recognise what the real issue is.

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  10. Just saw your comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by. You have some really good tips here. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well. Some of the tips above help and some do not work for me. I find blogging and connecting with people who are much like my self online helps some. You have a lovely blog here <3 Glad you found me.

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    1. You're welcome:D Thankyou, I'm glad you liked my post.. I totally agree, I'm the same. It's always nice to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling!!

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  11. You have some really good content here! Keep it up girl! :) And yes, thanks for dropping by on my blog! Hi from India! Keep in touch :)

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    1. Thankyou so much:) you're welcome! It will be nice to keep in touch.. Be sure to check out my latest post!

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  12. Great tips. I am glad that I am visiting you blog after you left a comment in my blog. Looking forward to reading more of your posts in the future. Have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. Thankyou, I'm glad you think that they are good! I hope you have a lovely weekend too:D

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  13. I think that this post helps us understand how anxiety can be approached from someone that is bold enough to share. I really look forward to reading the rest of your blogs and keeping this one in mind as I try and help people deal with their anxiety.

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    1. Yeah, that was my main aim:) Feel free to check out my most recent post
      http://www.milliesmoments.co.uk/2017/03/life-on-psychiatric-ward.html

      I hope these tips can help you!

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  14. Neat post Millie!

    https://danielasoriano.com/

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  15. I can definitely relate to a lot of this! However, I must say that exercise really helps alleviate anxiety in a few other ways, for me personally anyway, it helps you sleep better and it releases feel good endorphins. I guess it's more of a long term thing and it's not like doing a workout would instantly make your anxiety go away so I know what you mean. I also find it so hard to be positive on bad anxiety days! Emily x

    Emily-Alice.co.uk

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    1. That's awesome that you have found ways to alleviate your anxiety!! I am still trying to figure that out for myself so well done x

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  16. I love this! I had a look on the NHS website, and some of the things wouldn't really work for me, but I suppose it might help someone else :)

    www.sophielillie.blogspot.com

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    1. Yeah, I totally agree! I can imagine that they would work for people with low anxiety levels but can't understand how any of the tips help the deep routed issue!!

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  17. This was really good Millie. I'm myself suffering from anxiety so most of the stuff here is spot on for me. Great post. Loved it.

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    1. Thankyou.. I'm glad that you could relate to this post and that you liked it:)

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